10 Soft Skills to Refine to Achieve More Personal 

                      and Professional Success this Year

Much of what it takes to be successful in social settings is valuable in business as well. Impeccable manners and the ability to move with ease and grace in social circles are vital characteristics of powerful, successful people. If you are articulate, dress well, and back it up with the polished  social graces that put others at ease and enjoy being around you, virtually no group will exclude you.

It’s a new year, new decade–time for a new beginning!  Vow to become your unique, personal best. By refining the 10 soft skills outlined below, you will achieve more personal and professional success. 

1. Be open and confident.

When it comes to making the first impression, body language, as well as appearance, speaks louder than words. Use your body language to project appropriate confidence and self-assurance. Stand tall, smile, make eye contact, and shake hands with a firm grip.

 2. Dress appropriately and stylishly for all occasions; and always be well-groomed.

You should look appropriate for your environment and authentic to you. Being trendy is not important, but being current with accessories, especially shoes, color, and fashion accents indicates you are aware of what is fashionable.

“Good grooming is not just about making a polished first impression,” writes Sylvia Ann Hewlett in her book “Executive Presence.” “It is about signaling to your competitors, and yourself, that you are in total control.” When your nails are chipped, your shoes are scuffed, or your clothes are wrinkled, it is impossible to make a good impression.

3. Introduce yourself and others with warmth and enthusiasm.

Always prepare a self-introduction before going to a meeting or event. Say your name slowly and clearly, making eye contact when you introduce yourself. When introducing others, be sure to follow the rules for proper introductions, and always add something about each person to aid them in starting a conversation.

4. Be courteous.

In our modern world, how you treat others and your actions affect how people view you. Being thoughtful and thinking of others will never go out of style. When you are kind and have good manners, treat others as you would like to be treated, and make other people feel good about themselves, other people want to be around you. 

5. Build rapport for better relationships.

People like people like themselves. Try to establish a feeling that you are on the same wavelength when trying to build rapport with a new person. Pick up on key words, favorite phrases, and ways of speaking that someone uses, and build them subtly into your own conversation. Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed. It is called “mirroring” and “matching.”

6. Master the art of small talk and making polite conversation.

Always have something to say. Be informed. Be conversant on a wide variety of topics. Appropriate topics of conversation include news events, sports, cultural events, entertainment, travel, hobbies, etc.

7. Listen and show genuine interest in others.

People like people who find them interesting. Nothing is more flattering to another person or wins more friends than someone who listens to them. It’s the secret weapon of charming, likable  people. 

“And above all, really focus on what is being said to you,” advises Heidi Grant Halvorson in “No One Understands You and What to Do About It.” “People need to feel they have been heard, even when you can’t give them what they are asking for.”

8. Convey warmth and competence.

According to Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy, perceptions of warmth and competence account for roughly 90 percent of the variability in whether you are perceived positively or negatively by others. Research shows eye contact, nodding, and smiling are the three key physical indicators of warmth.

 9. Sharpen your dining skills and table manners.

Let’s face it: We are judged by our table manners and we judge others by their table manners. Persons sitting at or near our table cannot help but notice our table manners or lack of them. If our table manners are good, they will judge us favorably; and if our table manners are poor, they will judge us unfavorably.

10. Build an authentic, honest, and compelling brand.

What defines you? What makes you unique? What is your highest value? Be that person on a consistent basis. Reinforce your brand at every opportunity—both online and offline. According to Sally Hogshead in “Project Fascination,” “To be more successful, you don’t have to change who you are, you only have to be more of what you are at your best.”

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, productive 2020!  May all your goals for the new year come true!

Patricia

Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick

Founder, President

Updated: January 2020

No matter what your self-confidence level is right now, you can probably improve it. But you need to believe in yourself and your capabilities before anyone else will. Confidence in your abilities and qualities is essential if you want to be successful in business. Self-assurance will give you the courage to achieve your goals and reach your highest potential.

Keep a mental list of things you have succeeded at in the past and whenever you begin to doubt yourself, think about those times when you performed at your best. And also keep in mind that not everyone is good at everything. With the team-oriented workplace of today, we can rely on others to make up for what we lack; and we in turn, can make our unique contribution with the talents and accomplished skills we have to offer. So focus on what you have to offer and not what you are lacking. And most important, be sure that you are exuding confident body language: head held high, erect posture, direct eye contact, warm smile, and a firm handshake.

Following are 5 empowering tips to help you build confidence in yourself:

1 LEARN THE RULES OF ETIQUETTE TO BUILD CONFIDENCE.

The rules of etiquette are like a road map through life. When we know we are on the right road, it makes us feel confident that we will successfully arrive at our destination.

2 FOLLOW THE ACT FORMULA TO BUILD CONFIDENCE.

Here’s how:

A = Action: Try new things and overcome obstacles. As you do, you will build the confidence you will need to succeed.

C = Courage: To act before you have confidence requires courage. You can get courage from people, from books, from other resources, and from creating it withing yourself.

 T = Target: To assure your success, you must have a clear target to shoot at–a clear picture of what you want to accomplish or acquire.

3 CONFIDENCE WILL ATTRACT OTHERS TO YOU.

Having confidence in yourself is a very attractive quality to possess, until it crosses over to arrogance. People are drawn to, and want to follow, confident people. They are not drawn to those who are arrogant or conceited. When you have a healthy level of confidence, employers are more likely to trust you with a project, knowing that you will be good at motivating others.

4 DEFINE YOUR PERSONAL BRAND.

When a person exudes confidence, we want to work for them, and we are more likely to follow their lead. William Arruda, a personal branding expert, says confidence is important because it is the most attractive brand attribute. “Confidence is the number one byproduct of the personal branding process, because in branding you uncover what makes you exceptional and use it to make career choices and deliver outstanding value.”

5 KNOW YOUR MATERIAL.

Practice makes perfect. Practice builds confidence. The more you practice a speech, a toast, a presentation, the more confident you will be that it will be positively received. Confidence comes from truly knowing your material.

By: Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick

The above blog is a partial excerpt from Patricia’s book, “Proper, Poised and Polished: The Power of You.” The book can be purchased on Amazon.