“Successful people have the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either, necessarily, but their disliking is subordinated to the strength of the purpose.”

                                             -Albert E.N. Gray, “The Common Denominator of Success“

January is traditionally the time when we make the resolutions that will guide us throughout the year. Often, we do not keep our resolutions. Why? Because the resolutions tend to be ones we have made before and have not kept because they are challenging to keep. Why not make 2022 different? Following are tips that will help you form good habits and effectively manage the time you have to thrive in both your personal and professional life.

HABITS

Habits—both good and bad—make us.  Habits are powerful!  Habits are not easy to form and maintain and they take hard work and conscious effort over time to create. You may have read it takes 21 days to form a habit. New research shows it can actually take 66 days on average to form a habit. For some it can take as long as 254 days! The good news is that, as with a bad habit, once a good habit is formed, it is not easy to break.  All one needs to do is spend the time it takes to replace a habit that is keeping you from achieving a goal with one that would be more beneficial to you.

According to Stephen R. Covey, author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People:“ “Habits are patterns of behavior comprised of three overlapping components: knowledge, desire, and skill. Because these habits are learned rather than inherited, our habits constitute our second nature, not our first. Habits of effectiveness can be learned; habits of ineffectiveness unlearned. Successful people build habits of effectiveness into their daily lives.”

I encourage you to read or listen to “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.” It will change your life if you commit yourself to following them. The seven habits are:  1) Be proactive. 2) Begin with the end in mind. 3) Put first things first. 4) Think win-win. 5) Seek first to understand, then to be understood. 6) Synergize. 7) Sharpen the saw.

 TIME MANAGEMENT

As Warren Buffet says, “You’ve gotta keep control of your time, and you can’t unless you say no. You can’t let other people set your agenda in life.” Furthermore, “Really successful people say no to almost everything.” When you are at the beginning of your career, your days are not totally under your control, and you certainly cannot say no to your boss when he asks you to do something. You do, however, have a modicum of control over how you allocate your time to these tasks.

Leaders have long to-do lists every day, and it’s easy to get diverted from the most important items on those lists. Without good time management skills, leaders can find themselves constantly reacting to issues that arise in the moment rather focusing on the tasks that matter most. To avoid this common problem, you as a leader need to be proactive about time management. Doing so will ensure these tasks don’t fall through the cracks, that you’re focused on the right priorities, that you’re modeling good habits, and that you’re meeting all commitments. While time management can be difficult, it is a constructive habit that can be developed.

“The question I ask myself every day is, ‘Am I doing the most
important thing I could be doing?’” -Mark Zuckerberg

7 Strategies for boosting your time management skills:

1. Plan your next day the night before.

Spend a few minutes every evening prioritizing and scheduling the next day’s tasks. Once the day starts, things can quickly get chaotic, and it can be difficult to allocate time properly. You may get certain things accomplished, but you will not be organized and may find yourself wastefully focusing on tasks or details that do not make a difference for your big picture. Planning what you need to do the night before sets you up to start your day in an organized flow, allowing you to get more done in less time.

2. Get to work early.

One of the habits many good leaders possess is being the first, or among the first, in the office every day. Getting in early gives you time to organize your thoughts, handle a few routine tasks, and respond to emails before everyone comes in. Additionally, it sets the right tone for your team and lets them know that you’re present, committed, and working as hard or harder than they are. Even if you’re working remotely, getting to your desk early will give you extra time to get a head start on the day, address any last-minute changes, and continue to maintain the habit of being early wherever you’re working.

3. Don’t get distracted:  Keep your goals in front of you.

Don’t let others keep you from achieving the goals or tasks for the day. Making it a habit to have your goals in front of you is the key to increasing your capacity to succeed. Consistently refresh goals in your mind as a way to ensure you’re on the right path to achieving them. If you don’t employ such a practice, it’s too easy to lose sight of what you’re aiming for. Instead of leading your life, you find that you’re merely reacting to whatever comes up next. When it’s your habit to meditate on your goals, you work towards them and achieve them more effortlessly.  Accomplishing goals in this way feels incredible; it makes succeeding enjoyable and motivates you to continue to thrive.

4. Delegate whenever possible.

Effective time managers are able to determine which tasks require their attention and which ones can be delegated. Delegating is essential for time management because it ensures that leaders are focused on the right tasks and strategically allocating their time. It also shows your faith in your team when you delegate tasks to them.

5. Plan for focused periods of work time.

Leaders are usually good multitaskers as they have to juggle many different responsibilities. But while multitasking is important, it’s not always a good thing. Difficult and demanding tasks require periods of focused concentration, so it’s important to schedule your time so that each task gets the focused attention it deserves. For such tasks, getting out of the office and working where you will not be disturbed may be called for.

6. Schedule the hardest tasks or ones you least enjoy early in the day.

It can be tempting to put off difficult projects, but it’s best to schedule the most challenging things on your to-do list early in the day when you have the most energy and focus. Getting these tasks done early ensures they don’t serve as a distraction throughout the day. And it will feel good putting them behind you.

7. Learn to say “No.”

According to Warren Buffet, effective, productive people say no more often than they say yes.

 By: Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick

      January 2022

Note: Above blog an excerpt from “The Gentleman’s Journey to Success: Essential Manners and Social Skills You Need to Succeed.”

Modern Manners for the Younger Generations:

10 Tips to Help You Make a Positive Impression with the Older Generations

Etiquette evolves to adapt to the times; but manners are a constant because manners are more about how we treat other people, rather than strict rules for how things should be done. Manners are about being mindful of others and showing respect for them. Good manners never go out of style! 

Millennials and Gen Zers are our future leaders. And as such, will be role models for all who follow them. I know all in these two generations are not alike, just like all baby boomers are not alike; but there are many common traits–some quite wonderful, and some that might be improved upon. For the ones that need a little work, I have the following tips that are sure to make a positive impression with the older generations, as well as set a good example for all who will be following them: 

1. Put your mobile device away. Not all the time, but occasionally it would be nice. I am sure you frequently hear this, “He/she never puts his/her mobile device away.”  If you would try to discipline yourself to put your mobile device away when you are with a date, your relatives, or anyone you respect, it would be noticed, and I am certain appreciated.

    

2. Make polite conversation. When you show interest in others and ask questions about them, they will find you likeable. They will also think you are well-mannered. When you are invited to a social event or someone’s home, you should always go prepared with a few conversation topics they would find interesting. In other words, plan on being sociable and showing interest in the people you know or are meeting for the first time.

    

3. Make eye contact. When you are speaking to another person, it is polite to make eye contact with them. It shows respect for the person; and it also shows you are confident enough to make eye contact. Force yourself to look others in the eye when greeting, talking, and especially listening.

    

4. Mind your posture. Stand and sit up straight. Slouching makes you look lazy, disinterested, as well as disrespectful to the person with whom you are speaking or eating. It doesn’t take much effort but will make a world of difference in how you are perceived, since erect posture gives the impression of confidence and poise. 

    

5. Be gracious and appreciative.  Use the magic words you learned when you were a child.  Any time you want something, you say, “Please.”  I am certain you know that. And when someone does something for you, gives you a gift, or hosts you at their house for the weekend, you say, “Thank-you.” But do you write a thank-you note? It would be very classy if you sent a hand-written note; but an email, or even a text would make you seem more appreciative than not sending any note. Lastly, when someone says, “Thank you” to you for something you have done for them, you should say, “You’re welcome” or “It was my pleasure.” Saying, “No problem” always implies to others that somehow it might have been.

    

6. Dress for your audience.Acceptable modern dressing is certainly more causal today, but there are times when a t-shirt or hoodie and sneakers won’t be appropriate. Even when Mark Zuckerberg testified in front of Congress last year, he wore a suit and tie because that is the standard in that arena. So, if you are a man, I would recommend you have at least one blazer—black or navy blue—and one suit, with a pair of dress shoes. You never know when you will need them. If you are a woman, have at least one classic black dress or pant suit and black heels to wear for those more formal or traditional occasions.

    

7. Be well groomed.This should really go without saying, but I will tell you that regardless of your attire, your grooming should be polished. Look in the mirror before you go out. If you are wearing a shirt that should be ironed and tucked in, then by all means press it and tuck it in. If you are wearing leather shoes, they should be polished. Nail polish should be all “on” with no chips, or taken off, etc., etc.

    

8. Polish your table manners. You never know when this will come in handy—particularly when your grandmother wants to take you out to dinner; when you are having dinner with your significant other’s parents for the first time; or you are going to have your second interview with a company over lunch. Brushing up on your table manners can only be a good thing. You may never attend a formal six-course meal at Buckingham Palace, but you will be attending many dinners where you will be judged by your conduct at the table.

    

9. Refrain from constantly photographing yourself and everything you see and do for Instagram. I take photographs for Instagram, but I do so occasionally and when it is appropriate. Of course, I am sure you have more picture-worthy moments than I or your parents; nevertheless, when you are with “older” people who are not doing this, try be more selective about taking your phone out to photograph yourself or something you see. And perhaps, you don’t need to post everything you photograph on Instagram or Facebook.

    

10. Practice proper meeting and greeting skills. Nothing makes a better first impression or lasting impression than offering your hand for a firm handshake, accompanied by a smile and appropriate greeting for a person you are meeting—whether it is someone you have met before or are meeting for the first time. (Of course, you will be standing when you greet or are introduced to another person.) And, be mindful of the fact that when you are with friends, relatives, or business colleagues, it is your responsibility to introduce them if you encounter someone who is unknown to them or someone who does not know them. 

By: Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, March 2019