How to Be a Courteous Guest

• Do be clear about when you are expected to arrive, and when you are expected to leave; and try not to arrive earlier than expected or overstay your welcome. 

 

• Do take a house gift; and if you are staying longer than a weekend, offer to take your host/hostess out to dinner one evening.

 

• If possible, have a means of transportation so you don’t have to rely on your host/hostess to chauffeur you around.

 

• Do not ask to bring a pet with you, unless you have a small “perfect” dog, and you know they won’t mind. Large dogs and cats should left at home.

 

• Ask what the attire will be for the weekend so that you are able to dress appropriately for all of the weekend’s festivities, and will not have to borrow your hosts’ clothes.

 

• Do think of activities to occupy you for at least part of the day. Do not expect your hosts to keep you entertained from morning until evening—unless you know your host is expecting you to accompany them on all of the outings during the day, such as to the golf course, tennis court, beach, et Cetera.

 

• Do not leave your wet bath or sandy beach towels on the floor.

 

• Do try to keep your room fairly neat. Make your own bed each morning unless there is a maid to make it for you. Be sure the bathroom is kept neat as well.

 

• Do pack a robe. You may have to walk down the hall to go to the bathroom; and you may want to go to breakfast wearing one if it’s acceptable in the house you are visiting.

 

• Ask what the rules of the house are; and be sure to follow them. Are shoes allowed in the house? What time does everyone wake up and go to sleep?

 

• Do not treat your hosts as your personal servants. Offer to help out with the cooking

  and dishes.

 

• Do not expect your hosts to follow your diet regimen. If you are on a strict diet, it might be better to save your visit to another time when you can eat what your hosts are eating.

• Be on time for meals and activities.

 

• Do not complain about your bed, your room, the food, the activities that have been planned for your stay, et cetera.  In other words, be an appreciative guest.

 

• On the day of your departure, take the sheets, blankets, and pillowcases off the bed, fold them, and leave them neatly on top of the bed—unless, of course, your hosts have a live-in help or would prefer you leave the chore to them.

 

• Do remember to send a thank-you note to your hosts when you get home.

 

How to Be a Gracious Host

• Do invite guests you know fairly well and believe will enjoy the kind of weekend that is enjoyable to you.

 

• Let your guests know when you would like for them to arrive and when you would like for them to leave.

 

• Give your guests an idea about what you have planned for the weekend and the clothes they will need to bring for the various activities.  If you are taking them to your club for dinner, and jackets are required, that is something they need to know.

 

• If you are inviting friends you don’t know that well, it is a good idea to ask them if they have any special dietary needs or allergies.

 

• Do stock your kitchen and bar with your guests’ favorite foods and drinks. Be sure to ask them if they have any food allergies or special dietary needs.

 

• Do give your guests some free time during the day. It isn’t necessary—nor is necessarily appreciated by your guests—for you to have every minute of the day planned. Do, however, have some group outings/activities planned.

 

• Let your guests know what time you usually have your meals—particularly breakfast. If you are a late sleeper, and they are earlier risers, show them where you keep the coffee and let them know they are welcome to make their own breakfast.

 

• Give guests a map of your town if they are new to the area.

 

• Give guests your W-fi Code and list of TV channels if they are visiting from

  out-of-town.

 

• Check to make sure the guest room is ready for your guests: fresh sheets, flowers, snacks, reading material, an alarm clock, pad and pen by the bed, a couple of empty bureau drawers, extra coat hangers in the closet, a mirror, and anything else you think they might like or need in their room to be comfortable.

 

• Check to see that the bathroom is immaculate and that they will have everything they need, including a fresh bar of soap, an extra roll of toilet paper, and other essential toiletries, such as toothpaste, shampoo, and conditioner.  

 

• Do let your guests know if there is a limited supply of hot water in your house. They will be embarrassed if they unknowingly use all the hot water before the others in the house had a chance to take a shower.

 

• Try to anticipate your guests’ special needs—if there are any. Remember, that as a host, it is your number one responsibility to make your guests feel comfortable in your home.

 

By: Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick

Updated:  June 2019