Make a Favorable Impression at the Table this Holiday Season
”The real test of table manners is never to offend the sensibilities of others.”
-Emily Post
When it comes to dining, there is no better or possibly worse place to make an impression than at the table. It is absolutely essential that, if you want to be at your personal best at the table, you will need to have polished dining skills and impeccable table manners. Of course, finessing the art of the meal– fine dining skills, good table manners, etc.–may take practice, but once you’ve mastered this art, you will have the grace and refinement to dine with anyone, anywhere in the world.
Good table manners are about showing a sensitive awareness of others at the table; and conducting oneself in a way that makes the dining experience a pleasant one for everyone involved. Some of the rules for the table were devised for the safety of the diner, and others to make the act of eating more attractive. The best table manners are unaffected, making those around you feel comfortable.
It is food that brings together friends and families after a long day at work or school. It is food that brings us together to celebrate all the special occasions in our lives—weddings, graduations, christenings, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, holidays, and promotions. And today, nearly half of all business transactions, including job interviews, are conducted at the table. If you are unfamiliar with formal table settings and how to properly eat the various courses, you may find the experience of dining with others stressful and unenjoyable.
Children who have good table manners are always welcome at the table—whether at home, at school, or in a restaurant. If you are a parent, I recommend instilling the importance of having good table manners in your children as soon as they are able to join you at the table. They should be encouraged to practice their table manners just as they are encouraged to practice sports or musical instruments. And whenever possible, parents should join their children for meals and conversation.
For a comprehensive guide to dining, I recommend my book, “The Art of Dining Well—Everything You Need to Know to Shine at the Table.”
Patricia’s Top 20 Rules for the Table
1. Wait until everyone has been served to begin eating—unless your host tells you to start, or you are with a large party.
2. Avoid talking with food in your mouth.
3. Chew your food quietly with your mouth closed.
4. Wait until you have swallowed the food in your mouth and dabbed your mouth with your napkin before taking a sip of your beverage.
5. Cut and eat one piece of meat at a time.
6. Never lick your fingers. Wipe your fingers and mouth with your napkin.
7. Once you have taken your silverware off the table and used it, it should never touch the table again. Place it on your plate in either the resting or finished position.
8. Bring your food to your mouth when you eat; do not bend your head down to your food.
9. Don’t reach over someone’s plate for something; ask for the item to be passed.
10. Never spear food off another person’s plate with your fork.
11. Pass food and other items to the right, or counterclockwise, at the table.
12. Always pass the salt and pepper together. They are “married” and never separated.
13. Use a utensil instead of your fingers unless you are eating finger foods. Never use your fingers to push food onto your spoon or fork; use your knife.
14. Avoid spreading your elbows when cutting. Keep them close to your sides.
15. Eat at a similar pace as the others at the table. Do not eat too quickly or too slowly.
16. Never pick food out of your teeth at the table.
17. If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself and go to the restroom; and certainly, do not use your napkin.
18. Do not place your cell phone, keys, glasses, or handbag on the table.
19. Do not answer your cell phone or text on it while you are at the table.
20. Always thank the host at the end of the meal.
Wishing everyone a very happy, healthy, and safe holiday season.
Patricia