Are you as successful as you would like to be in your personal and professional life? If the answer is “no,” you might want to evaluate your soft skills. Soft skills refer to a cluster of personal attitudes and social graces that make someone a good friend, date, and employee; someone compatible to be around–at the office and outside of the office. Soft skills are also known as interpersonal skills, or people skills.

Soft skills are 85% of success in getting a job; keeping a job; and moving up in an organization, according to research.  And a person’s soft skills are what attract or discourage others from wanting to be around them.

Follow these tips to polish your soft skills to win friends, dates, and jobs in 2014:

1.   Be interested in others and the world around you. People like people who are genuinely interested in them and what is going on in the world around them–not people who are just interested in themselves.

2.   Be a good listener and ask questions.  People like to know they are being heard and that their ideas are appreciated. By being a good listener, you let others know that you value them and what they have to say.

3.   Be sincere. Flattery will get you everywhere, but only if it is authentic. Cultivate a genuine personality that is consistent and free from pretense, and people will warm up to you and trust you.

4.   Be good natured; have a sense of humor. Try to make the best of situations; and don’t take yourself too seriously.

5.   Be a team player. “We’re all in this together; and let’s make it work” is an attitude that is appreciated by everyone.

6.   Be optimistic. People like people who are positive. No one wants to be around someone who is pessimistic and has a negative attitude toward life.

7.   Be confident.  Confidence is an attractive trait; it will make people want to be around you and follow your lead.

8.   Be open and approachable. Smile. Make eye contact. Use body language that says “I am open for business.”

9.   Be skilled at making small talk. Small talk “breaks the ice;” it makes others feel comfortable and puts them at ease. It is an essential soft skill in both your personal and professional life.

10. Be polite.  Having good manners and a respectful attitude toward others will make people want to be around you–in and out of the office.

By: Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick