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A Gentleman’s Guide to Being a Polished Host and Gracious Guest this Summer

By Patricia Napier-Fitpzatrick 

How to Be a Polished Host

  • Do dress for the occasion. Just because you are entertaining your friends and colleagues  in your home, doesn’t mean you don’t have to change your shirt or put on a fresh pair of shorts or slacks.
  • Let your guests know what the attire will be for the evening. If you’re having a formal affair, and a guest arrives casually dressed, it will make feel him/her, as well as your other guests, feel uncomfortable.

  • Make sure you have fresh soap and hand towels in your bathrooms. (And don’t forget the toilet paper.)

  • Do make sure you have a place for everyone to sit—even if you are entertaining outside.

  • Always greet guests at the door with a handshake and a smile.

  • Have a designated table for any host gifts your guests may bring.

  • Give arriving guests directions to food and drinks.

  • Introduce guests to other guests they may not know.

  • After all guests arrive, the host should circulate to make sure everyone has someone to talk to and is enjoying himself.

  • Assign someone to make sure there is enough food and drinks for everyone at the party.

  • If you are entertaining guests for the weekend, make sure you have fresh linens on the bed; and put a bowl of fresh fruit and/or snacks in the room, reading material; and flowers.

  • Always say goodbye to your guests and shake hands with them before they leave.

How to be a Gracious Guest

  • Do dress appropriately. If you are unsure what the attire is for the evening or weekend, call your host and ask him.

  • Always take a host/hostess gift if you are going to someone’s home for dinner or for the weekend.

  • Always say hello to the host as soon as you arrive.

  • Don’t hesitate to introduce yourself to others, and shake hands when you meet them.

  • If you are talking to someone and a person who you don’t know walks up, introduce yourself, then the person with whom you are talking.

  • Do make an effort to circulate, mingle and converse with the other guests at the party.

  • If you spill something, let the host know immediately, and offer to help clean it up.

  • If you break something, let the host know. It is your responsibility to pay for the damage.

  • Don’t bring a friend to the party unless you have checked with the host first.

  • If you are a weekend guest, do realize that it is not your host’s responsibility to keep you entertained every minute of the day.

  • Unless your host has a full-staff, you should put your breakfast dishes in the dishwasher; and you should offer to strip the bed when it is time for you to leave.

  • Always thank the host before you leave.

  • Call the day after the party or weekend to say thank-you or send a hand written thank-you note.

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